May 23, 2015

Letters to Clover - Month One

Dear Clover,

This month you turned ONE whole month old and it's been such a roller coaster of a month for us all! Roller coaster in the very sense of the word - all at once exciting, thrilling, breathtaking, slightly terrifying and somehow over so incredibly fast! But truly the most wonderful ride of my life and, as he says, the ONLY roller coaster your daddy will ever be happy and willing to be on!

We watched in awe as you came into the world - letting out your first sound before you were even completely born! (You are such a clever and animated little thing!) And although I feel bad that the first thing I ever did to you was nearly drop you (seriously being passed a slimy, floppy little baby between your legs after you have just spent many hours labouring and have just given birth is not for the faint of heart!) I fell hard for you from that very moment the midwife passed you to me and I laid you on my chest. We spent our first few moments of your little life just gazing at one another (you have been such an alert baby from day one!) and counting tiny fingers and toes. Then you nuzzled in, latched on all by yourself and had your very first feed. Our midwife commented then that you would be a good eater and she was right, you are a no-nonscence- about-it baby and you feed ferociously and quickly, mostly so you can get back to seeing whatever is happening around you ASAP!

Your Daddy is pretty besotted by you too and it's so sweet. One night shortly after you were born I came out into the lounge room to find him sitting on the couch, with tears in his eyes, looking at pictures of you on the laptop. As I snuggled down next to him, he looked up and said "I just love her so much, she's so beautiful!" and so we snuggled on down and got all teary together staring at pictures of your sweet face.

One of my other favourite 'Daddy quotes' from this season has to be when he told me "I knew we'd make cute kids, I just didn't realize I wouldn't be able to handle how cute she is!" Which just makes me smile. He loves you so much sweet girl and I can't wait to see the bond between you to grow as you get bigger! I also love the way that every time he passes you in your bassinet sleeping he lets out a "naaaaggghhh" sound and then makes motions as if he was eating you all up! It's so adorable and if I must admit, I think you are pretty damn delicious too!

And let's just talk about your newborn scent for awhile ok? Man that stuff is intoxicating! I am under the belief that they should bottle that scent! (although, I would probably send your Daddy broke buying every bottle of your perfect little scent!) To me, it was the most perfect and intoxicating little smell that has ever graced my nose and both Daddy and I spent many hours simply sitting and smelling your darling little head! So much so that I didn't want to wash you for days, as I was afraid of loosing that precious smell (even though you had a few clumps of birth remnants glued to your hair and stuck to your forehead!) The day your coming home outfit lost your newborn scent was a sad day for this Mumma and I remember walking out to your Daddy holding it up to my nose, almost crying and exclaiming "It doesn't smell like her anymore!" And why we are on the subject of your sweet little smells, is it weird to admit that I love your sweet little milky breath and often just sit and put my nose near your mouth just to smell it!? (Maybe it's not too weird a thing though, as Daddy admits he does the same too!)

This month you had your very first photo shoot and in true I-must-know-whats-going-on-at-all-times Clover fashion, you stayed awake for the whole (nearly) four hours the photographer was here! Even when you were beyond tired and not happy about it! You were just thirteen days old.You are definitely not a sleepy newborn, that's for sure! You are incredibly alert and inquisitive, focusing on our faces in your very first week and at just eight days old (on the way to church) Daddy noticed you staring and focusing out the car window! You are very advanced for your age and we think you are just so clever!

At the end of the month, you also went to your first dress up party and you looked so cute! The theme was 'Hippes vs Hipsters' and you and I went as hippies and Daddy went as a Hipster. I went all Sound of Music and made you a tiny little dress out of some vintage fabric I bought years ago at an op shop (I think it was originally a tablecloth or curtains or something!) It was mustard green and yellow and very retro. We also wore daisy flower crowns around our heads and oh man you looked so cute in your tiny version of mine that I'm only slightly sorry for the little indents it made it your head - woops!

Along with all it's 'firsts' and breath taking moments, this month also had it's fair share of tears and high emotions (Don't even get me started on 'Weepy Tuesday!') and at ten days old, we finally got our diagnosis about your feet. We were told you had structural talipes and you received your first ever full leg casts at our appointment, which we weren't at all prepared for. You of course handled it like a pro and didn't cry at all during the whole casting process (we were so proud!) Mummy, on the other hand, was an emotional mess and has spent many hours crying over your little legs and the treatment you will have to have! I miss your 'squishyness' and kissing your little thighs so! You are so brave and handle your little casts so well and although it is hard and emotional right now, I know this season will all to soon be behind us and you will be running around before we know it! Although if you want to hold off on the running around and growing up too fast thing I'd be all for that too!

Oh my Clovey girl, there are so many things I love and am learning about you! At one month old here are some of  things I love and don't want to forget about you at this age:

- That one long hair you have on top of your head that sticks up straight and will not lay down flat!
- The fact that your little hairs are so soft and whispy that when we hold you close and breath in they fly up into and tickle our nose (Daddy admits he loves this too!)
- Your crazy hungry cry that doesn't stop when you are latched on my breast and feeding, but instead slowly winds down in a frantic 'warbly' fashion and makes me laugh every time.
- Your wide open mouthed cry when your tiny bottom lip trembles and you throw your head back like a tiny baby bird (is it bad that's twice I'm admitting I love seeing you cry!?)
- Your little aniseed breath (and the white remnants around your mouth) when you've had some Infants Friend
- Your gummy little smiles (which you so cleverly started doing at just two weeks old!)
- The way you love to be walked and rocked to sleep and somehow even at this tiny age know when a tired Mummy or Daddy tries to sit down! (Even if we think we have got you and you are asleep, your little eyes and mouth can pop back demanding that we start walking again!)
- The many times I have held you and sung Peter Paul and Mary's 'For Baby' Lullaby and choked up at the line "And I'll love you more than anybody else" leaving your little head wet with my tears ...

Because it's true baby girl besides Jesus and Daddy, I don't think anyone could love you more than I do! For I love you breathlessly and endlessly my little Clove. All the days of my life!


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