The one where I admit I don't have it all together ...

One of the reasons I haven't been blogging recently I've been struggling a little lately ...
with lots of little and big things...

with wedding stresses and decisions - Have I mentioned how we dropped M's suit of to be altered and they completely butchered it?! ...
with being 'unemployed' right now and trying to get into my chosen career in a market that doesn't seem to have many opportunities for a recent college graduate ... (it's scary and humbling to watch your bank account dwindle while not being able to keep topping it up. But then I don't want to complain because I do have some amazing work coming in - paid interior design experience. Which is great but also hard because it's rather sporadic work, paid monthly and takes up a lot of job hunting time) ...
With receiving 'unsuccessful applications' for simple reception jobs - something I hoped would tie me over till something in the design field came up - and with a wedding coming up, a dress and honeymoon that needs to be paid for - it's all kinda scary ...
Like desperately needing new car tyres and being a victim of a shopping center hit and run (I now have a lovely scratch up the side of my car) ...
Of still trying to find 'our' church home where we can serve and grow and  a cell group to be part of too. Because spiritually I am feeling quite dry right now....
And then there's stupid things like being a baby about Sydney winters - which I think are freezing but now know are kinda like Seattle and Chicago springs! - yup BIG baby who shouldn't complain, I know. But this season is so not my favourite! ...
that and there's nothing new and exciting to report here.
No crafting. No real silly fun times.

In all of this I feel like I've lost a little bit of me too.

While having a lovely chat with this lady awhile ago. We talked about how we all want everyone to think that we have it together all the time. and it's true.
But the truth is I don't have it all together, because I am a human and the truth is we constantly goof up and fall apart and make mistakes and one thing I am learning a little more and more during this season is there is one thing to see me through - one thing to cling to and trust upon ...
My saviour Jesus Christ.
And that's what I'm trying to do and relying on right now.
Because seasons, they don't last forever but my God, he surely will. 

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.